: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
