the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
