chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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