No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
