maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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