Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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