Duck Duck Cougar?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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