What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
