Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wannas sexs uuuuu
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
