Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
