Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
