OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
