Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i will never coherently bang her
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
