I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
