I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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