weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
