McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
