Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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