I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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