She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
