I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am midnight drunk by noon
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
