Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
...so i touched it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Found the puke drawer
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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