i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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