Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize