You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
