Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
