yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
