You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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