I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
