I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
