you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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