Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
