did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
