no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
