my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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