the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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