thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
