Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Floor bacon is actually really good
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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