apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
