And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have aggressive nipples.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
