Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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