All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my being single is dangerous.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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