Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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