She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
