Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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