I wish my penis had an off switch
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
