I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
