why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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