Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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