Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
