Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
