Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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