So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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