She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
