Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
