that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cannot find my penis.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
