I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize