do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
